‘No upcoming events’ it has said for the last couple of years… who are they kidding? Look at this lot: the events calendar is hotting up. Hold on to your hats. Here’s the lowdown; I’ll do it in a more professional manner as soon as the mood takes me; don’t hold your breath…

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21st and 22nd of May I shall be botanising, zoologising, anthropomorphising, ornithologising and just generally getting the lowdown on the natural world with the extraordinary and dazzling Jorge up at LAS CHIMENEAS in MAIRENA.


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Next, on May 31st, the Saturday, at ten in the morning I shall be strutting my stuff along with the fabulous and fascinating Rosie Boycott at Hay-on-Wye Literary Festival. This is to mark the launch of my new book – LAST DAYS OF THE BUS CLUB, published on June 4th by my old mates at Sort Of. Hurry while tickets are still available; there may yet be room in the tent; it’s a small one. I’ll sign your book afterwards, too.


Then on June 15th I shall be heading for the hills to do the INTEGRAL for ACOMPALIA. This is hardly a proper event, as you can’t come along… well, I suppose there’s nothing stopping you, apart from common sense that is. This will be five days of summer hell in the Sierra Nevada, made more hellish by the madness of eager media attention… assuming all goes according to plan.

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Back down to earth for a course of YOGA up at MAIRENA again, LAS CHIMENEAS. I have been promising my aching joints and bones that I would soon get into yoga, for the last thirty years… and now at last it’s about to happen. The dazzling and lubricious Carrie – who teaches yoga to the BBC no less – will be officiating. This will take place from Saturday June 28th. Unmissable.


After the heat of summer has died down, between September 6th and 13th, I shall be guiding walks around the High and Low Alpujarras, heading out each day from the incomparable CASA ANA in beautiful FERREIROLA. Again, this is not to be missed, in particular the inspired gastronomy, courtesy of that wonderful WES SOMERVILLE. You never eat such food.


I’m running out of ideas now as this is rather a long time to think ahead… but if I remember aright, I shall be appearing along with Frank Barrett, travel editor of the Mail on Sunday, at HENLEY-ON-THAMES LITERARY FESTIVAL round about the 30th of September. My reasoning here is that I will get to row on the river, which has always been a bit of a passion with me.

Ah, and then there’s the CHELTENHAM LITERARY FESTIVAL on October 4th. I don’t have the details yet but I am told that there is a certain – and unfathomable – interest.

On November 1st and for a week thereafter, I shall be guiding walks and doing “activities” (don’t ask) back at the irresistible Las Chimeneas.


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Very soon this meaningless rant will start to take on some recognisable form. Until then… see you there